Where Have I Been?
The short and boring answer is I’ve been busy. Saying that isn’t a complete lie either. In the past 2-3 months, I’ve started a new job, had family from England come visit, gotten engaged to the love of my life, and I’ve moved to a different city. I’ve had a lot on my plate and honestly the business, the socials, and everything else that wasn’t real life was tossed on the back burner to sizzle like dried up steak.
However, that’s no excuse. Everyone knows that you make time for the things and people that are important to you. I found time to visit family. I found time to go to offices for apartments. I found time to go wherever I needed to go and get things done. This came at a price though. I wasn’t completely happy. I was exhausted. I was driving and hour to and from work. I was packing when I got home. I was trying to buy new furniture, sell old furniture, keep my sanity and make my now fiance feel loved.
I Lost It
I lost my drive to do anything creative. I was tired all the time. I wasn’t sleeping as much as I needed. I felt like I was spending more money than was coming in. I was stressed, and I felt like nothing was coming out the way I wanted it to. Everytime I wanted to make something creative, I literally ran out of time. I either had to sacrifice doing something that needed to be done or sleep. The practical person in me wouldn’t let anything necessary to survival go unattended so my creative drive suffered. Those who classify themselves as creatives will understand that it’s like going through withdrawls. When I can’t express myself creatively it takes away my motivation to do a lot of other things too. I lost it.
Finding the Light
I knew that once we moved, everything would get better. I just had to make it through. To be honest, I’m still not all the way there. I could see the light down the tunnel, but it felt like I was only crawling towards it. Days would go by without me writing, singing, picking up my camera or guitar and it was taxing. Other people need to sit and relax and watch tv. I need to create and express myself. Knowing that the light was at the end of the tunnel was enough to keep me going. After each heavy event mentioned above, things got easier. I had more time and I was able to bring myself back to a place I was comfortable in. I could feel the light.
It’s been about a two weeks since we’ve completely moved, and I feel way better than I did before. I have more energy, more time, and I’m more willing to create in a space that I believe is beneficial. I’ve put up decorations on the walls. I’ve been picking up my camera everyday. I’ve had photo jobs come in, and as you’re reading now, I’ve been able to sit down and put my thoughts into words. So with my new or refound energy, allow me to reintroduce myself.